Learning that someone you know was sexually molested as a child provokes an emotional response. I still remember telling a college friend one night outside of the campus theater – I saw her assimilate the conversation and feel the shock and pain. She was full of empathy that night.
Another one of my college friends tells me he still remembers every detail of the time I told him: what my dorm room looked like, where he was sitting, what time of day it was. It was not easy for him to hear. You think you know somebody and then you find out something new, something terrible, but true and that’s a part of me as much as my eye color. Do you know me? Well, now, you do. The great news, that I am eternally thankful for, is that my friends, for the most part, have been extremely supportive over the years.
Which brings me to the question: Seriously, do you know me?
We say on this website that “molestation” is not a four letter word, and we need to stop treating it that way. While the subject isn’t a pleasant topic, it’s a necessary one. A molester’s power stems from the silence of the victims.
When I describe this subject to people, sometimes I phrase it this way: Think of your house – maybe your basement or a less frequently used bathroom. Generally, when the lights are off a long time and we neglect the space … that’s where the bugs go and the dust collects. Once you turn on the light, increase the activity in that spot, you’ll find that it discourages the muck and filth from collecting there.
Molestation can only happen when secrecy exists. It’s in the best interest of the molester that the importance of not telling anyone, that others “might not understand”. It’s such an ingrained theme in the relationship that it is one of the hardest things to break – the silence. In my situation, I actually told an adult about two years into being molested, and he didn’t believe me. So I kept to myself for another 7 years before I finally decided to tell someone…
I’m not a professional therapist, I don’t have training that lends me to be an authority on the subject, but I am a victim of Don Corley, and was sexually molested by him for over a 6 year time frame. Keeping this a consolidated post, I could never describe fully how I deal with the lasting impact from my situation. But I can tell you what I told the Alabama Pardons and Parole Board back in 2006…
This site, created by one victim and with the support of many others, is to be a centralized location giving information to anyone interested in keeping a sexual predator off our streets. We are not here to argue if a 30 year sentence is too little of a punishment.