Children’s brains are not yet fully capable of predicting much less handling the aftermath of the molestation.

Many studies, such as this one from the National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, indicate that “Impulse control, planning, and decision making are largely prefrontal cortex functions that are still maturing during adolescence.” Also from the study, “Adult response to stimuli tends to be more intellectual, while teens’ is often more ‘from the gut.’ This suggests that while the changeability of the adolescent brain is well suited to meet the demands of teen life, guidance from adults is essential while this decision-making circuitry is being formed.”

What this means is that mentally, children and teenagers are not yet equipped to process what is happening to them before, during, and after the molestation. You cannot judge your childhood actions with your adult brain without taking this into account! Otherwise, it is just not a fair judgment. It is not your fault; it is always the role of the adult to protect the child.

Adolesence

Adolescence is, for many, a time to gain much sought after independence and quest for finding their individuality.  It can be a very confusing and trying time and a great opportunity to be mentored by a non-parental adult such as a coach or youth group leader. Having a mentor can assist children in making good decisions as well as provide non parental adult supervision when both parents and children need to take a break from each other.

Don Corley used mentoring as his guise to gain the trust of parents and their children. Don’s concern for a child who could use mentoring was welcomed by parents. Children were more than willing to accept his attention, times, trips, and gifts. Parents, children, as well as the community was “groomed” in order for Don to misuse the trust bestowed on him.

One misconception is that only “troubled” or “children of divorced parents” are at risk.
I can proudly say that I came from a perfect nuclear family with lots of love and my parents did EVERYTHING right. It was Don that knew how to create an issue if there wasn’t one already to position himself as the “good guy” who was interested and wanted to “help”. This is important for parents to know as this can happen to even the best of families.

Imbalance of power

A major ingredient of molestations is the imbalance of power in the adult-child relationship.  As a child, you are taught to “Listen to adults and do what they say.” You do this because you trust that they know what is right and as an adult will protect you from any harm. In fact adults are those who have the power to discipline children. As an assistant Scoutmaster, Sunday School and youth leader in the church, chaperone on trips, and “adult in charge” Don had all the power. You did what he said or you were in trouble.