Don Corley’s Ripple Effect

I’m not a professional therapist, I don’t have training that lends me to be an authority on the subject, but I am a victim of Don Corley, and was sexually molested by him for over a 6 year time frame. Keeping this a consolidated post, I could never describe fully how I deal with the lasting impact from my situation. But I can tell you what I told the Alabama Pardons and Parole Board back in 2006…

Today, I now know that molestation is a violation of a position of trust, power and protection. Don Corley positioned himself as a surrogate father figure; he was supposed to protect me, to teach me, to help me grow up. Sexual exploitation by a caretaker destroys a natural trust and has lifelong negative impact, particularly when the exploitation occurs during the vital adolescent years. I hope no member of the parole board can understand what it feels to have a violation of what should have been a loving, protective relationship.

Adult survivors of molestation deal with issues of sexuality in the context of abuse, we learn how to hide and deny our feelings and then we spend a lifetime trying to regain our ability to feel and express emotions in a healthy way. We constantly struggle with a feeling of loss – of our childhood, our youth, our innocence. We create coping strategies in the time we were molested, and those coping mechanisms tend to grow into late adult problems like addictions to pornography, drugs, isolation or the inability to remember the good parts of our past because we have worked so hard to forget the painful parts. We struggle with having an appropriate level of healthy social contact with friends and potential lovers and “intimacy” in any capacity turns out to be just another four letter word. We have a hard time finding the fun in life. We deal with anxiety, depression, suicidal thoughts, low self esteem, shame and guilt, the inability to trust others and ourselves, nightmares, flashbacks, insomnia, obsessive over achievement, gross under achievement, negative body self images and social alienation.

I can personally attest to every word I just read.

Molestation has a ripple effect. For me, being molested has negatively impacted my parents and the people they know, countless friendships have been tried and tested in our hometown of Homewood, AL as people have struggled with anger, shame, disappointment, pride, denial and fear. Don Corley’s mother and his ex-wife and children are dealing with an unbelievable amount of stress trying to cope with the knowledge of his heinous acts, my relationship with my brother, my ex-wife, her immediate family, my friends – the list just goes on and on. And that is just me – you need to consider that every victim of Don Corley is dealing with the same ripple effect. Don Corley’s particular style of evil has certainly made it’s mark in this world.

Every time I re-read those words I deal with a fresh wave of emotions. So I end with this: I, and the other victims, have to deal with this every day for the rest of our lives.

Let justice run its course: 30 years is 30 years. No early parole for Don Corley.